LiveWorld Transcripts

Boxtop presents

Author Mary Lyon
"Frazzled"

April 08, 1998

Oh, the joys of motherhood! “Frazzled,” is the apt title of journalist and author Mary Lyon’s book about pregnancy, childbirth and the trials, tribulations and ultimate joys of motherhood. Lyons talks about the busy lives of today’s moms, the inevitable state of being “frazzled,” and other interests.

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CCCMyst: Talk City Presents in association with BoxTop Live (tm) Welcomes You to Tonight’s Feature Presentation. Tonight we welcome Mary Lyon. And now without further ado, Welcome Mary Lyon. Mary Lyon, welcome to Talk City!

Mysterygirl: Mary, Welcome to Talk City! What are some of the secrets of your success that you can share with us?

Mary Lyon: Oh my goodness! Well, I'd have to figure which kind of success. Success as a frazzled working mom, I'd say I give myself lots of room for error. I had to realize and allow it to be okay that I'm not perfect! It's something that you hear quite a bit, however, when you and one of those things where it's easy to talk, but man, when you're in the thick of it, if you have to hold yourself up to this perfect ideal, you'll go nuts and set yourself up for failure, because you're not going to be an ideal mom - and I don't know anyone else who is either! We just try to look the part! In my book I enjoyed being able to share 'tales from the trenches' - things I learned the hard way and when I was an entertainment reporter, I got to learn how others dealt with it! For instance, Barbara Walters, my ideal in journalism - I asked her how she handled working mom's guilt, and she looked at me, and looked down at my really-pregnant belly, looked up to my eyes, heaved a sigh, and said "You know something, you never get over it!" That's just one example of many - and if Barbara Walters is still struggling, why should I complain too much! Another thing that applies, whether a parent or a working person without children - don't give up! You have to be able to try again, to boot up! There will be so many people out there telling you no, and trying to shut the door on you. You've got to try to find the back door, or the side window! Another thing I've learned is that no one is going to punish you if you get it wrong. The worst thing that will happen is that someone will tell you no, and you move on. When you're a parent, or a working parent, with really important people to please - your children, spouse, boss, mom, etc. - you've got to give yourself room, even when it seems sometimes that everyone is on the planet to make your day more difficult. I used to hold it up in my head "I Will Prevail." In this case, you have to be your own best friend - the person who'll pat you on the back, and tell you - you're doing it right, at least some of the time! As my book says, you can't be perfect, but you can have moments, pieces, or stages of perfection. Maybe not right on the bulls eye, but close! And that helps me too. The problem we sometimes have is impossible goals and role models - all the people out there who seem like they have the perfect life. I saw it in entertainment: the job, the staff, the entourage, the pools - and their lives aren't perfect either, and they're going to feel that too!

Lilac: What a terrific name for a book! Was there a particular event that encouraged you to write it? Or more the whole motherhood experience?

Mary Lyon: First of all, what a terrific name for a woman, lilac! I always liked the word Frazzled, even before I had a reason to, and when I became a working mom it started to have more significance, and it just came to me! It seemed like a good idea. It's become my buzzword, and it resonates with everyone – I see the twinkle in the eye, the little smile, and the understanding. Women (and men!) tell me all the time that they're frazzled working persons too! The book came about because I started giving out advice, and being asked for advice. Pretty soon, I was told regularly that I should be writing this down, and immediately, the title came to me! And it's true!

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